Years before our Heterotaxy hero, Corbin, was born, I had someone tell me, in reference to me and my husband, "You guys have the worst luck!" It took me by surprise because I had not viewed my life or ours in that way. Sure, we had some bumps along the road, but didn't everybody?
Fast forward about 9 years and so much more has happened. Most recently, our car broke down on the evening of the 4th of July, on a dark two lane highway, in the middle of nowhere in TN, on our way back to MO from a family wedding in SC. I had some moments when I was extremely nervous. We had no operating electricity in our black SUV. Would a sleepy truck driver side swipe us? Would a party-goer that had one too many ram into us? I remember the changes in the plan for the tow being extremely frustrating. The insurance company recommended one destination and the tow truck driver suggested and convinced us that another was best. We anxiously awaited the arrival of the state trooper to give us a hedge of protection on the road as well as the tow truck to get us out of there. And time ticked on so slowly.
Later that night, in the motel that the tow truck driver took us to, I thought of what was said to me many years ago about our luck. I thought about the many things that had transpired since that time, especially with Corbin and his health. I thought about the fear and worry while pregnant. Will he be blue when he's born? Will he need to have surgery right away? Will our baby make it? I remember being extremely frustrated with the changes in the doctor's plans. After birth, initially some doctor's felt like his malrotation was a priority and others felt like his complete heart block needed to be addressed first. The plan for his care changed a lot over the course of his first days in the hospital. Then the surgeries. I remember waiting after his pacemaker replacement at 4 days old, after his CAVC repair at 5 months, after his Ladd's at 9 months. Just waiting, for him to get stable and recover enough to go home.
As we face a pacemaker replacement for Corbin this winter, I think I've figured out why that statement "bad luck" still doesn't resonate well with me. I'm able to see all the blessings that have prevailed throughout our lives: strong support systems through friends and family, resources and information, faith, prayer, and love, kindness and compassion. These things have been provided to us through every step of our journey. It makes all the stuff that we go through not take over and become the focus. And hopefully we can face this next step unburdened and head on.
Angel Swinton ~ Mom to Heterotaxy Hero, Corbin
